Creating change and improving isn’t easy.
If it was, everyone would be playing at a much higher level, everyone would be thriving in life and leaders would be inspiring their teams and productivity would be high. But not everyone makes change easily. People create barriers, excuses and reasons, limiting the ability to change.
The first question that springs to mind is ‘why’ and it’s the answers that tell the story. But before we get into that we need to dig a little deeper.
Before we ask the obvious question ‘why’, we must delve into your psyche and find out if you have a desire or need to change because without that desire, change won’t happen.
The mere thought of change can instil a sense of fear and uncertainty. The fear of the unknown is greater than the desire to change and until the desire to change becomes greater than the fear of the unknown, you’re going to continue with your life as it is.
So the question becomes
“How do I overcome that fear?”
Beliefs And Values
Throughout your life, you’ve experienced many things and through these experiences you’ve created beliefs and values and it’s these beliefs and values you hold today.
For example how you treat others, how you train, what you eat but most importantly how you make decisions.
There are some people that know how to create change quickly and get what they want. They just know what it takes and they thrive. Perhaps you can think of one of those people now?
These people have something in common and it’s this I want to teach you, so you can create that change you desire.
Remember earlier when we asked why everyone isn’t creating change to improve.
Those beliefs and values you created are holding them back. When a belief or value holds you back we have a name for them. These are called limiting or mistaken beliefs.
Your Comfort Zone
Creating change also involves being uncomfortable. You are where you are because your values and beliefs give you comfort. They form part of who you are and being you is comforting. To get different results you have to learn to be “comfortable being uncomfortable“, to step out of your comfort zone so to speak.
Many people perceive coming out of their comfort zone as this huge, scary monster, where emotions will run wild and the world come crashing down leaving a huge chasm of emptiness and pain.
In reality, coming out of your comfort zone is simply thinking differently, experiencing different emotions and acting differently and only lasts a few moments.
Would you be willing to experience a few moments of discomfort to remove yourself from the discomfort you’ve been experiencing for some time?
The Pro Basketball Player’s Story
I remember a professional basketball player writing in his weekly column in a newspaper and in this particular column he wrote about his frustrations in his form. He was known as a scorer and had played for England but he couldn’t get out of his slump and was averaging about 5 points a game. He was stuck and didn’t know what to do.
We connected and spoke for about 45 minutes and all the time we spoke I was listening to his words, asking specific questions with the aim to discover what his limiting or mistaken belief was that was holding him back.
We uncovered the problem and once we did that we began to reframe his thoughts to create a new belief.
On a side note, the relationship between player and coach should be one of respect and trust and mutual understanding because to win and be successful, you need respect, trust and mutual understanding.
Although these three ingredients existed, a simple miscommunication created a mistaken belief and from this belief the player began to behave in a way that supported this belief because he respected, trusted and understood what his coach wanted.
This coach wasn’t trained to explore the ‘why’ and in general many coach programs don’t have these strategies in place which, in my opinion isn’t right. As a coach in any sport, and one of your players is struggling, surely you’d want to know why and how to help, so they can begin to perform well and the team will get more wins? Or is it easier and quicker to bring in an expert?
If there are any coach educators reading this, I’d be happy to discuss ways to integrate these concepts into your program.
We broke down his mistaken belief and reframe his thoughts, creating a new belief, leading him to explode for 20 points, hitting 100% from the field. He kindly wrote in his column and I invite you to read for yourself here the impact it had on his game and to this day, working and helping an England player remove his mistaken belief allowing him to play like he knew he could play, is one of my proudest moments.
The Four Steps To Take
He was able to overcome his fear through understanding and accepting 3 principles.
- He had a desire to change
- He had an open mind to learning new concepts and perspectives
- He was willing to put them into action
He was willing to be uncomfortable for a few moments and create different emotions that allowed him to create change in his performance
He was able to think, feel and act differently.
“It’s the thought of change that will drive you forward or hold you back. Taking action is the simple part”
You can remove the fear of change by giving yourself permission to learn and accept these three principles and be uncomfortable for just a few moments.
let’s recap and list the 4 steps you need to take to create change
- Have a need or desire to change (Use the exercise below)
- Have an open mind to learning new concepts and perspectives
- Accept you’ll come out of your comfort zone but understand that discomfort only lasts a few moments compared with the length of time you’ve been experiencing discomfort or frustration
- Put these new concepts and principles into action
Have you had enough of your current situation and want change?
If you feel there’s still doubts but you realise you’re ready to make change, and would like to find out if what I offer can help, get in touch and let’s make things happen.
Do you know someone that’s struggling? Please share this as it could help.
Live with purpose