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My Journey

The Journey To Become The Most Sought After Sports Mental Performance Specialist Part 12

“Growth is actually contagious, so if you want to reach your goals, you’ve got to get around people who are going in the same direction you want to be going, and you will catch the success.”

Dr Henry Cloud

If you’re not improving, what are you doing?


The player you are today is not the same as the player you were before Corona hit us.

You went from playing and training consistently, competing against your team mates and other teams, to training alone.

Your mindset shifted as your routine shifted.

But what does this mean for your future?

What does that mean to your ability?

Have you improved or lost a step? How do you know?

During the season with consistent training and playing, you gauge your ability based on how your opposition and team mates play and will rank yourself amongst your peers in various categories.

How fast you are, how tall you are, how skilled you are, how smart you are, how strong you are and so on.

You’ll have an idea of where you fit into the team.

Let me ask you a question.

Be honest with yourself

Before Corona locked us down, were you enjoying your time on the team?

If you answered yes, that tells me you were satisfied with your contribution and accepted your role on the team.

If you answered no, that tells me you want things to change.

You’ve had opportunity to improve during lockdown so what have you been doing about it?

Again be honest with yourself.

Have you stepped up your game and set a training schedule to help you

Or have you fallen into poor habits and been lackadaisical in your approach?

I understand through specific training in NLP, CBT, Emotional Intelligence and experience, you can improve quickly when you shift your mind.

For the uninitiated, this concept can seem unreal or pointless so little attention is paid to knowing more so let me try to convince you otherwise because you deserve to know how to improve.

It’s my passion to help struggling athletes understand the power of the mind, so they can improve their situation and continue to do well in the sport that allows their passion to thrive. Currently I’m helping three athletes, two from football and one from golf, to improve their situation.

To give you a taste of what can be achieved, let me share these tips:-

A simple conversation can break down mental barriers that are limiting your potential. One player was feeling anxious and lost but we created a simple sentence to ask his manager. This removed the anxiety and gave him clarity.

Your perception is only one perception of your reality but when you shift your perception, you can improve your ability quickly. You may be good, but I know you can be better. One player I’m working with has recently started a six week program of shifting perception to gain a psychological advantage over opponents and in the competitive nature of football, gaining an edge over your competitors is essential to your survival as a professional player.

Self talk or your inner voice will drive you to success, mediocrity or failure.

The lesson here is simple. Our behaviours and perceptions are learned from various experiences in our lives. The brilliant thing is because it’s learned we can unlearn these behaviours and perceptions and create more appropriate and purposeful ones.

The first thing you have to do to create change is having a reason to change.

What’s your reason to change?

If this blog has intrigued you and you want to know more, get in touch and I’d be happy to share more with you. Perhaps your curious to learn what it’s all about, how it works, what you can do right now and if it’s worth your time.

As a specialist coach, helping people like you improve is what I do best so allow me to help you be your best.


Are you a professional or amateur athlete wanting a new perspective on how to improve your situation? Find out more by clicking here

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What really happens when you deflect blame after a mistake

One of the hardest things we do as humans is accept our mistakes.

It’s so easy to deflect blame or brush it under the carpet and in our haste to deflect and blame we overlook the impact our behaviours have on ourselves and others.

Imagine the relationship between a footballer and the manager. Both have a role to do and both are trying their best yet both will make mistakes. But with football being a game of ego and performance, it is very unlikely either will admit to making mistakes.

When we blame others for our mistakes, we create a fracture in that relationship. It may be a small fracture but our actions create a crack of doubt in the mind of the other person. That crack can grow and manifest which builds resentment, dissonance and trust is thrown out of the window.

Your time at that club and in some cases, the league, can quickly come to an end.

As this crack widens, contempt grows within the other person and they become defensive and wary of helping you out in the future.

What happens to you? You create habits that are detrimental to your health.

You begin to believe you are better than others

You believe nothing is every your fault

You begin to act like a dick!

This behaviour is unconsciously picked up by others and they begin to avoid you.

You may have a sense something isn’t right but are unsure what it is.

Before you know it, things are not working any more and you feel lost and frustrated!

How can you fix this?

There are specific words you can use to fix the fracture and begin to build trust again.

It takes courage to do so I’ll make this as easy as possible for you.

If you blamed someone else for your mistake use the following sentence.

“You may not remember but I made a mistake and I blamed you. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?”

By saying these words, it starts a new thought process for you and the other person and by nature, we do like to forgive others.

Have you recently blamed someone for your mistake?

What happened and what did you do about it?

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A MUST READ FOR FOOTBALL PLAYERS AND COACHES BEFORE THE JANUARY TRANSFER WINDOW CLOSES

When a team is looking for improvements, either financially or on the field, logic says transfer for a better player is the right move to go.

And in most cases this works out OK but there are some that went horribly wrong

Sol Campbell on his move to Notts County in 2009 and making only one appearance said “The only thing I’m guilty of is taking people at their word” even though he had big dreams

Manchester United paid £10 million to Crystal Palace for Wilfried Zaha with an extra £5 million to be paid if the move was successful! It wasn’t!

These players were good, if not great at their former clubs but that doesn’t always equate to success in another place so I’d like to suggest the following, before a decision is made.

When anyone moves to a new situation, there is a period of figuring things out. Each player has their personalities, beliefs, values and expectations and if any of these aren’t being met in the new environment, their performance on the pitch is going to suffer.

Imagine an introverted player coming to a new team. A quiet player but with plenty of skill and ability. Should this player be exposed to situations against his personality, there is a strong likelihood his performance will drop and the transfer be a bust.

The value of the transfer will only be judged on the performance on the field, which is influenced by the player’s life off the field.

Think about it – 90 minutes a game, perhaps two games per week and up to five hours training a day over three days – that’s around 18 hours playing football a week. What will they be doing for the other 150 hours?

There’s a lot of time to fill and if that time isn’t filled with supportive, nurturing and relaxing times, the player can be distracted by negativity and thoughts that are detrimental to their performance and mental health. The player may think the worse.

I’m sure you’ve heard the quote by Einstein that goes

“Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish in its ability to climb a tree, it will live it’s whole life believing it is stupid”

Some players get put in the wrong environment for them to thrive.

Perhaps clubs and players can spend more time forming a strategy to figure out the player’s expectations, beliefs and values, rather than just focus on the business side of the game?

Do you know a player that was a bust?

I welcome your thoughts and ideas and invite coaches to get in touch