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Become who you want to be

Tell me what’s going on in your head

The issue and topic of mental health is one that needs constant attention because there are some people that have yet to understand what they can do to help.

In this short video, I talk about some ideas that can be implemented immediately to help those who are suffering.

Please comment and share with your community because sometimes there are people who hide their struggles well, and this may help them reach out.

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The phrase you need to learn if you’re in the public eye

There are times in my life when I really don’t give a fuck!

Thinking about others, doing things for others and spending energy others can be very draining at times.

So sometimes I say to myself ‘Fuck it! I’m doing something for me!”

Now if you’re in the public eye or play professional sports, I know you’ve had these thoughts or something similar and I applaud you for having those thoughts.

Part of you will be thinking of self-preservation, while part of you will be thinking of your career and not wanting to piss certain people off…just in case.

Self-preservation or self-compassion is an act that is often overlooked as you get caught up in the expectations others put on you.

Public appearances, interviews, guest speaking, media sessions etc can all take their toll on you.

Yes, you will have obligations through certain sponsors, and agreements but you also have an obligation to look after yourself because when you aren’t operating at a level that gets the best out of you, others will begin to judge you negatively and when that happens, it can be a slippery slope to something much worse.

You can also get caught up in pleasing others, because you feel your livelihood is in their hands.

If you’re struggling to create a balance between self-compassion and the obligations you have, then perhaps it’s time to sit back and say ‘fuck it!’ while you take stock of what’s important to you and your values.

A wise man once said…

“A selfish mind is only the perception of those who treat you as an asset.”

Perhaps you need to realign your values and what you currently have on your plate.

Perhaps you aren’t giving enough?

Perhaps you are giving too much?

Perhaps it’s just time for a little break?

Whatever it is you need to do to find a balance in your life, I urge you to take action so you can continue to be the best you can for yourself and those important in your life.

Do you need to find a balance?

Is there something you need help with?

Please message me privately if you want things to change.

Take it easy

Mike

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WHY DO SO MANY FOOTBALLERS SUFFER FROM MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES?

Mental health is something we all experience, either positive, negative or a balance but it’s when a person is stuck in a negative mental health state, that their mental health suffers and can lead to anxiety, depression or worse.

Life is never a straight line. Never is it easy or difficult, but we live in a life in constant flux and experience many emotions as we react to the environment around us.

WHEN YOU’RE STUCK IN A NEGATIVE MENTAL HEALTH STATE, THAT’S WHEN THE PROBLEMS START

I suffered from depression a few years ago. I was stuck in a cycle of self-destruction as I lost my job and struggled to find motivation to do something about it. I began to wake up late, stay up late and find anything to remove the boredom. I had no focus and hoped something would happen.

But guess what, nothing did happen.

I was losing fitness, I was losing my self-worth and I was spending money I didn’t have.

The doctor offered me anti-depressants but I had heard how they numb the brain so immediately, I turned down that option. I valued my clarity and thinking.

I understand what it’s like to feel depressed, but I also know how to find a solution that changes the mindset.

Any player can change their mindset and can experience the highs and the lows, from winning the league, to losing on the last day of the season and getting relegated.

One player I spoke to has a family member in the premier league and after a transfer, he sat in his bedroom all day with the curtains closed and only left his room to train and play.

A player will begin to suffer from negative mental health when they can’t find the answer or solution to a problem that’s occurred.

THE SOLUTION EXISTS, YOU JUST NEED TO KNOW WHICH DIRECTION TO LOOK IN

The mind is a tricky little thing and can trick players into focusing on a wave of negative emotions and thoughts like blame, embarrassment, guilt, fear, anger, and anger.

The other issue they face is two-fold. Can I talk to someone and are they willing to listen?

There are some great campaigns out encouraging players to talk and I applaud these campaigns.

However, encouraging someone to talk, will go nowhere if there isn’t anyone they trust enough to open up to; and then there is the concern of will they actually listen without judgement or will they tell the boss, take the p!ss or tell you to ‘man-up’?

When concerns are held in the mind, they begin to manifest and morph into thoughts and feelings that can drag even the most skilled player to a place of darkness.

Check these worrying stats!

  • 60% of footballers go bankrupt within five years of leaving the game
  •  In 2016, 165 members of the PFA were referred for counselling
  • in 2017, more than three times the amount of players reaching out were recorded by the Professional Footballers’ Association (PFA) than in 2015 and 2016. The number of former players requiring support has also doubled.

So what’s the solution?

Talking and advising players what to do and how to cope with the world of professional football is great on one level.

But there is another level that needs addressing

When a person understands their self-worth and mental health, doesn’t have to revolve around football, a new perspective is discovered that can strengthen the individuals’ resilience and ability to move quickly from negative mental health, to finding a balanced or positive state of mind.

A balanced or positive state of mind, allows the individual to thrive in an otherwise hostile and very critical environment.

Football players can perceive opening up as a weakness, something that only others do, yet opening is can be perceived as a courageous and intelligent act.

I urge players to find someone who is willing to listen without judgement or criticism and open up. I guarantee when this happens, the problems they thought they had, won’t be as problematic as they think.

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Become who you want to be

FRUSTRATED FOOTBALLER OR ACTOR? THEN YOU NEED TO READ THIS!

When you were younger, you enjoyed what you did because it was fun and exciting and life was good.

There was no pressure, no sense of urgency and there was a sense of doing what you did because you loved it. There was a special connection between you and your craft.

Then something happened.

There was a time in your life when your acting life or football life changed.

You may be able to identify that point in your life, or you may not but you know something changed.

Perhaps you began to get paid, maybe you received a great review or a coach spoke highly of you?

Maybe you signed a professional contract?

People began to take notice of you

People began to be drawn to you

People offered you things you had never had before

Life was good!

But then something else happened.

You began to feel frustrated, tired and low on your luck

The passion you once had for your craft no longer burned as bright as it did when you were younger

Perhaps you stopped receiving offers?

Perhaps you fell out of the playing rotation in your team or got transferred?

Perhaps you’re now living a life you didn’t expect and you want things to change, and the quicker they change, the better!

But you don’t know what to do!

There are so many things at risk.

You worry about letting others down like family and friends, your coach, team mates, friends..so you do nothing.

But what about you?

It’s your life!

So what do you do? Continue to worry about what others may say or do?

Being in the public eye has it’s challenges and some people thrive in that environment.

But some people falter and struggle to deal with what fame and fortune brings to the table.

There’s a powerful saying I once heard that will give you some strength and it goes like this…

“It’s not what others think of you or expect of you, but how you perceive yourself to grow and thrive in the environment in which you live”

Discover a new perspective on your situation and start to live a life you deserve. Find a way to rediscover that passion and allow yourself to feel good and improve your performances!

If this article resonates with you and you want things to change for the better, I’m inviting you to take two small steps towards making that change a reality.

Firstly

Click the link below

Secondly follow the instructions

Start your change now by clicking here

Take it easy

Mike